Narcissists insert themselves inside every story. It happened to them, or they know who it happened to, or they went to that place once, or they once said something to the person affected etc. Even if there is no connection to whatever is happening, it becomes about the Narcissist as they tag alone with the person at the centre, or introduce them or retell their story. They turn up for drama and they create drama around themselves. You can tell this is happening because without them, life is PEACEFUL.
In Narcissistic bullying, the Narcissist still makes it all about them. They bully their victim obsessively, constantly surveil them and report every small thing back to their Enablers and Flying Monkeys, with spin added, of course. This is all done through the lens of how what the victim does affects THEM. They become part of the story by being the thing affected by whatever is going on. THEIR point of view, THEIR personal story, twist, experience or spin. THEIR hurt when their victim finally calls them out etc. Then they will milk attention as they turn themselves into the victim.
Some types of Narcissists only show up for the big stories and spend all their time seeking them out. They can be the neglectful parent who turns up when there is a scary-sounding diagnosis etc they can tell everyone about, (and tell them how worried and upset they are, thereby getting the attention rather than the sick person). Or when the kid becomes famous for something. They can be the Narcissist constantly trying to start fights or the one with a ridiculous number of selfies seeking attention. They may be the one with a quiet job who centres themselves in the workplace, stealing attention from everyone else in the room, maybe taking on the roles of others (and then probably complaining about it).
Basically, a hallmark is if you know who they are and perhaps wouldn't expect to in that context. Or to put it another way, if you ever want to scream 'IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!'
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